Its that feeling like when you have to much wasabi, that rush of pain that shoots up through your nose and sense, stings your eyes and you struggle to catch your breath. That's what it is like every time I look at something you touched. I seem fine, and then the rush of blood and pain and loss of breath as I run my hand along the pillow on the couch that I know you touched, I know you were right there, your breath your life, so simple, and its all gone now.
Sometimes I feel that space, where you once were, and I want to shout out to the whole world how much I love you, how much you mean to me. I want to explain what its like to crawl into one of your tshirts and try to climb into time, where you were here, I am never going to get over this. Ever.
No one understands me anymore. All my close friends are gone, I wonder if they were ever there in to begin with.
Every minute without you is that pain, that sting, that sad part of the movie that you used to laugh when you saw me crying.
I miss you so much, I want you here so bad. I cant even describe how bad its been since you left.
I cant even throw away your tooth brush three months later. I want you to be back here, I want to tell you that there never is anything but you, and life without you sucks. That I have nothing anymore but all these memories and I can still taste you on my lips.
I open the chap stick and its still shaped to your lips. I find your hair in my coats, Your wet suit is hanging in the bathroom and it looks just like you could get right back into it.
Come Back, please. Whatever I have, I would trade my life for yours. I would die, just to get you back. Just come back.
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